I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
