butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
