not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
