You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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