Why is your signature on my underwear?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
