What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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