Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
