just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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