Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
