Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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