Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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