By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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