The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A bitchslap is in order.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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