it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
