what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
