What did we do last night that was yellow?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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