He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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