I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
