...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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