i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
