my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
