I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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