Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
