I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
