I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
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