you guys were way drunker than both of me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
