My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
