He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
