Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
