Sry I called you an 8
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
