I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
