I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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