How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
