Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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