he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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