Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
