I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need a beard to bite.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
