I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
