She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
