i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
What changed your mind?
Being sober
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
