I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
