is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
