im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
