How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
