Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
