The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
