HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My breasts were aching with rage.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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