i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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