Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
