i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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