no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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