So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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